I have been sort of... diligently doing my job-hunting online, well, as least I've always made the effort to visit Jobstreet.com every morning and squint through all the jobs, sending resumes to a few companies... It has became a daily routine of mine, scouting for jobs, catching up with emails, Facebook newsfeed, Tumblr dashboard, etc...

Also, I've integrated reading articles as part of my life (for now). These are the few places that I will spend my day reading articles: The Daily Mail (they always use short and powerful, ambiguous headings to capture your attention to read their articles...), Thought Catalog, posts from Buzzfeed, Viral Nova, and Distractify... They are really a good source of entertainment, and at the same time, providing you insights with DEPTH about life, people, the World, the Nature, and whatever you can find under the sun.

I don't know how, but it seems like I am leading quite a boring life because I am still unemployed. FML. Why is it so hard to find a job that I would love to do and dedicate at least half a decade to work like a dog for it... I don't wanna go to work while feeling dreadful everyday about it. I think my mom knows I have been consistently looking for a job so she didn't really pack me a bag full of "pressure" and ask me to bring it around.

Just today, she mentioned if I still can't find a job before my PR permit expires, I should just get a job as clerk or any job that doesn't really require a degree to renew my PR permit first... Then, continue hunting for better job. My point is, she actually doesn't mind how much will I get paid, and how much can I bring back every month for her. My parents have been really supportive in whatever we do, as long as it's nothing illegal. I must say, I am really fortunate to have them as my parents.

Never once, never at all, that any of my parents has given us any pressure or stress. I don't know how should I put across, maybe they just trust us with whatever we are doing? As long as our academic results are passable, and if we ever score well, it would be a bonus? Or maybe, they know putting too much stress on us actually will be backfired? I don't know but they just seem to be a very very very chilled parents.

Back in poly days, I moved to SGP because of my CCA. My training ended at what, 730pm? If I were to juggle between study, my CCA, and traveling to and fro from SP back home in Malaysia, I would have died from fatigue... So in the end, I ended up staying over at my friend's house for 3 years. The days I spent living my life in SGP, my mom has never once doubted me in anything I do. I guess she really put a lot of trust in me, and FYI, me, being as the only daughter.

She has always been supporting me in whatever I wanna do or try. For instance, my first ever overseas hiking trip in Malaysia (not exactly overseas for me, since I am a Malaysian...) with my CCA seniors and batch mates (I was from SP Adventurers - okie, it's actually ODAC). The only thing she asked was to ask me to report my safety whenever I've gotten to the destination. That's why now, whenever I am overseas, before boarding the plane, or touching down, I WILL always text back home to her, specifically, that I am safe and sound.

THUS, I kind of despise people who don't do that. The parents seem fine with you travelling around, be it alone or with friends but deep down, they will get worried because ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. It doesn't kill to drop a text and report your safety, how much can an overseas SMS get? Being independent is one thing, but always remember there are people back home caring and worrying for your safety...

Then again, my mom might be naggy sometimes, but I think it's a... Mother's thing that all mothers on Earth (okie, maybe just my mom...?) that she can remember the things I need her to buy, even after a few weeks. For example, I need her to help me get rubberbands to tie my hair, but it gets out of stock so we have to wait, right... To the point that I've actually forgotten about needing the rubberbands but VOILA! A week or so later, she will magically place it on my table. Sometimes, I am just impressed by her memory.

She has been a really sporting mother... I go for overseas backpacking trips (Thailand, Hong Kong, Vietnam, South Korea), diving trips, overseas trekking (Taiwan, Indonesia), she never once said no to me, neither do I have to persuade her. She's pretty cool with me doing all these adventurous stuffs despite being the only daughter in the family. She would even sponsor me for my trips sometimes, and each time I have to make my way to the airport, she would always, ALWAYS, give me an angpow and with notes written... Words like 'Bon Voyage!', 'Have fun and enjoy yourself!!' are always the few that will appear on the angpow.

Last year, I had to wait for the car to pick me up and send me to airport at wee hours. It should be 4am in the morning, even I already felt like crap having to wait for the car... and I told her to get to sleep, I can handle it myself (not tough at all what, just gotta lock the door and carry my backpack...) but she chose to use the internet while waiting for the car with me. FYI, my parents sleep really EARLY at night. Especially my dad, he sleeps as early as 9pm... My mom can be a nocturnal creature on some days, when there's party going on though.

Nonetheless, sometimes gestures and actions like that, really made me realize that my mom loves me (& my brothers) a lot but sadly, we always (we - but mostly is my 2nd bro), will piss her off or argue with her... It definitely doesn't feel good at all but I have no idea why my 2nd bro can constantly piss my whole family every now and then. When people argue, there must always be one of them to put their ego at the bay and take a step back, to apologize and reconcile the relationship. It's so tough to do man, at least for me...

One of the reasons for why I don't really like to get involve in things that don't concern me at all. Even friends tell me about their friend's stuffs... I would probably put it off with,"oh, okay can." because it is really none of my business and I don't wish to further comment on it. Anything that comes out from my mouth, be it feedback or my opinion, I usually won't sugarcoat my words... They will all sound harsh so I've learnt the art of STFU unless you really force me to do so. Friends who know me well, will know that my compliments for people are hard to come by, so if I compliment you or the food or anything, it means... They are really some great stuffs.

Oh well, I have had my fair share of bickering with my mom which normally, I will feel bad about it and I don't really like to give in... I'm quite stubborn actually, and sometimes, a bit too self-righteous :( but I meant, I do feel bad, right... At least I've the heart to want things to get better but probably too embarrassed to say sorry so sometimes my mom would do it first by asking me to have my meal HAHAHA super cool mom.

There are still many many years ahead to go, to treat my mom better, and of course my dad. My superhero, that my mom gets jealous over it. She always tells me that my dad will listen to me no matter what, so she sometimes like to use me as an excuse when trying to get something from dad... Hahaha, my dad is the silent supporter of my life, he will always pamper me. I am the GEM of the family, hiak hiak.

I just hope I can get a decent job soon, like really... So I can finally be a filial daughter and splurge my pay on my parents and let them enjoy their lives. Oh, hahaha I've been the only child who always get to travel with them... Fully paid. HAHAHA and my brothers will be super envious of me but too bad, I was still a full-time student back then, I had all the time and holidays to travel and they had to get their butts stuck in the office and work like dogs.

Aye, in conclusion, I am super blessed to be born in this family... My brothers have been treating me quite well too, especially my big brother. He would get my presents and stuffs on random days although he can be quite annoying sometimes because he likes to infiltrate my room and invade my swing chair... Well, I know he still loves me a lot, cos he always buys me expensive stuffs hahahahaha.

Okie, I need to hit the sack already. It's 2.15am now, no idea how did I spend an hour composing this random post... But yeah, I have an awesome family.

Goodnight!

P/S: 987fm needs to stop playing all the nice songs at such hour. OMG.