Happy 18th Birthday to me.

Thanks BIG time to JF, WY, DDZX, SHINI, ZHUXIN, WHYKEI and FREDERICK.
You guys sucked, I mean only JF and Shini who smashed the bloody cake on me. This was the first time I kena cake smash in the whole of my 18 years long life. THANKS. Well, that instant smash really did make my mind wander off for a spilt second.

SORRY to FREDERICK. Actually he was asked to come out for a movie with us but ended up being smashed by the leftover cake and went back home after that. SORRY HOR. I NEVER LIE TO YOU. IS YOUR HAO MEI MEI. :)

Thanks JF and WY for treating ME at Delifrance and DDZX for the Banana Chocolate Cake from Secret Recipe. Thanks to Shini and Zhuxin for the handmade decorated cake and Whykei for the little gift. SPECIAL thanks to JF for the idea on asking Shini to smash the whole entire cake on me. THANKS.

Thanks SPA members who wished me happy birthday and especially Willard and Muxing who flooded me in the morning. Thanks to the rest, including my friends and mom who actually sms-ed me for the bday wishes. Thanks everyone.

No doubts, you guys could see me so moody, right. No one was there to defend me from the cake smash and a lot a lot which is hard to be described here. I hope we could go out for a vacation together and LOOK AT THE STARS ON THE BEACH!

I'm devastated.
Look after me when I'm crossing the road.

You said ITP is a bore, when you can actually get to see her.
You said you feel loved from her, when you said you are nobody to EVERYONE?

Tell me, what are you really thinking?
I'm really sinking down to depression.

My tear ducts are working once again.
What should I do?

I really can't lose you.
8 months are tough to get by.

If kiss could make up for a big fight, I would have kissed you until my very own last breath.

Thanks for today (you know who you are). :)

I really appreciated it although sometimes my mind will just wander off to someone else. You guys had successfully made me tired but I don't know if whether I can successfully sleep well or not. Things are back to normal when I get back home then. Sigh..

No matter what, a big thank you to you guys.

I couldn't sleep.

I didn't know there are so much things to talk about you. Almost everything you can find under the sun. I miss you.

I miss you, a lot.

Every little thing I have wrote in that paper, I really mean it and it is from the bottom of my heart. I truly understand/feel every little effort, be it from your effort, care, concern or love you gave me. Most of the time, I won't show my feelings out unless I really cannot suppress it anymore. I think that was why you would say I didn't appreciate every little thing you did for me but like what I've said, I remember very clearly in whatever things you did for me. Minor things or major stuffs, all these are engraved deeply in my heart and it will not be erased unless someone replaces my heart. Even the first song you sent me, I still remember it CLEARLY. I hope you can understand my true feelings from the letter and don't give up on me YET. I hope things change for a better one and without you, I see nothing at all in the things I do. You are like the sun in my universe, giving me all the warmth you have. You are like my pillar, supporting me when I'm down. All these are seen from you, I felt it but I didn't tell you. I hope all these are not too late to be mentioned to you. Sometimes, some things are hard to be verbally spoken out. I hope you understand my heart like you always used to. I hope to do whatever things with you, mind it stupid stuffs or important ones. The joy for me comes from you. When you are gone, I think there will be no more joy for me.

Losing you is like a deep cut down in my heart with the scar painted there and hard to be erased. I lost you once, I will get you back. Once I get you back, I will never let go again. Whatever I've said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it. I just want you back for good.

I hope things really turn out in a good way although I am pretty afraid it won't but I believe in you. I am scared of everything and anything. I really hope things turn out fine and not because a small grain of stone and make our relationship turns sour.

I believe things can be changed..

I love you and loving you always. <3

3rd week of ITP is gone and I guess I'm pretty immune to it already. I work for the sake for completing the ITP because it seems like there is nothing for me to learn except doing cold callings for 3 weeks. Maybe I can be telemarketer next time and a packer. Frankly, I love doing packing in the office too. That would mean that, I will not have to do callings which now I am in a state of going to have no more companies to call already. Whatever! Life sucks with them.

Finally, my blog icon is fixed and I am lazy to search for a new blogskin too. Anyway, supposedly, today is a day out at ECP for some cycling fun but I guess they postponed it so suddenly and I am gonna rot at home. If they were to say a bit earlier, maybe last night.. I guess I am now back in Malaysia with all the good food coming to me. I am now stucked at home, wasting my Saturday away because there's no backup plans at all. I shall go back to Malaysia next weekend or maybe later if my family members wanna go for some Korean Cuisine.

Seriously, I have nothing to blog about too. Life is mundune and I see no colours in it. I am looking forward to the end of ITP and that marks the start of my relaxation for my going-to-end holidays.

Bye.

ITP SUCKS. IT SUCKED REALLY VERY MUCH FOR THE FIRST WEEK AND I DOUBT IT WILL GET BETTER COS THE COMPANY JUST SUCKS, OKIE. SERIOUSLY LIKE HELL LOTS AND I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY ARE SO PREJUDICED AGAINST SP STUDENTS. JUST GO FUCK YOURSELF AND DIE, OKIE. 7 (INCLUDING ONE OVERSEAS INTERN) PEOPLE IN A COMPANY, YOU TELL ME YOUR COMPANY ISN'T SMALL COMPANY NOR A BIG COMPANY. TELL ME, HOW IS AN AVERAGE SIZE OF YOUR COMPANY CAN BE SINCE IT IS ONLY 7 PEOPLE. GOD.

I MEAN, I CAN'T STAND THAT COMPANY AND I GOTTA TOLERATE FOR ANOTHER 6 MORE WEEKS. KILL ME, PLEASE. EACH MORNING, I DRAGGED MYSELF FOR WORK. COMPLAINED AS MUCH AS I CAN TO RELIEVE STRESS. WOAH, FUCK CAN. TOMORROW GOTTA WORK ALREADY AND I GUESS I AM GOING TO CALL FOR 8 HOURS AGAIN. RECESSION, NOT MANY COMPANY WOULD WANT TO HAVE AN EVENT, HOW TO GET QUOTATIONS MAN. OMFG.

I HOPE THESE 6 WEEKS PASS RATHER FAST IF NOT, I GUESS I WILL SWEAR EVERYDAY AND PEOPLE AROUND ME WILL GET ANNOYED TOO. F.U.C.K.



Arghhhhhhhhhhhh!
I love those who are willing to let me rant on and always telling me that 7 weeks will pass very fast (which I don't think so) and especially to BF and family. Okie, time to hit the sack although I don't wish to sleep but I gotta work tomorrow.. BIGGEST SIGH EVER. :(

Is just few hours away. I wonder what tasks will I be given. I am having a mixed emotions. Anxious, scared, confused, indifferent.

OMG.

Save me, please.