HAHAHA. I'M GOING CLUBBING TOMORROW. MY VIRGIN TRIP THERE, SOUNDS NOOB BUT WHATEVER! ADVANCE THANKS TO GUYS WHO ARE GONNA MAKE IT HAPPEN. LOVE YOU TO THE BITS FROM HERE TO THE WHOLE UNIVERSE. WOOHOOOOOO. ER........ YUP. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. :D

At least, I cleared my doubts.

Anyway,
I passed PPCDL theory test and woohoo, gonna be PPCDL holder soon!

Would be away for tomorrow.
Till then, important stuffz, please SMS!

Goodnight. :)

1. Shagged.
2. Brain-dead.
3. Happy yet bothering.
4. Fuck it.
5. Main.
6. Reserve.
7. Clueless.
8. Past.
9. Present.
10. Future.
11. Human.
12. Ain't an object.
13. Attention.
14. Hot.
15. Cold.
16. Final results.
17. Confirmation.
18. Thank you.
19. Take care.
20. Goodbye.
    

Bottom line:I separated this post from my previous post and advanced apology to my readers for this long post and thank you for your kind attention. :D

Back to my life.Settling the kayaking programme with Melvin just now. He sounded like a nice guy, he said we could ring him up on Thursday for direction if we are not sure. Anyway, it's from 8.30am - 5pm with lunch break in between. 3 hours in the morning, 3 hours in the afternoon, S$10/hour. Not a bad deal, right. Hmm, we would be teaching them basic strokes as heard from Melvin and yup, that's all about it.

Thoughts.I've no idea how should I put it here. Hmm.. It's like something hard to be expressed yet I want people to know. WTFFF. Anyway, in any case that anything happens, it wouldn't be in my range of handling it if I am not in a part of it. Life's short, judging from that bloody alien abduction and the thunderstorm in Perth, earthquake at Chile weeks ago.. Every natural disaster is falling on us, every few weeks. We gotta live our life happier! If you spend your days being sad/emotional away, you will definitely die with regrets and sorrowfulness.
In short, I'm learning on how to be happier each day, finding things that could keep me occupied. Happy things, that's of course. No doubts, there are gonna be unhappy moments, all the down and heart-wrenching incidents but get over it and move on asap. Good memories stay, no matter what. You can't turn back to life and change the beginning but you can start to create a new ending. Life's a bitch, learn to handle it and you will be happier. If life screw you, get yourself a screw-driver and screw back your life.

Decision is upon others.
You decide what you want, people will respect your decision. Like for me, sometimes I felt that I could only wait and see, I let out my thoughts so people would understand how I feel. No doubts, there are still always an inner-thought within me but at least, there are certain thoughts people could know about me!

...

Alright..
I removed the rest of the post.
I'm afraid people would mistaken so in order to maintain peace & harmony, not to stir up any shitass things, I've decided to remove it. I think, Whykei was the only one who read it, provided if she has finished reading my authentic post just now. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

“You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it’s always their actions you should judge them by. It’s actions, not words, that matter.”
— Nicholas Sparks

Back then, I wondered if you read the missing paragraph from one of my posts. I just realized the existence about it; it came across my mind suddenly. I think I'm gonna write this in one whole chunk 'cos basically, I've no idea how to categorize my post tonight and yup, whatever I thought of, will be thrown into here. Today was a screwed up day but I'm already having such days ever since holidays started but anyway, after more than 3 months, I finished watching the Hot Shot episodes and ending sucked, TOTALLY. I'm left with nothing to watch for the moment now. Well, pathetic me, spent whole day at home, doing nothing at all. Nothing fruitful, nothing meaningful, nothing amazing, nothing fun, nothing serious, nothing great, nothing and nothing and nothing. Ahead of me, is my life walking aimlessly away to somewhere which I've no idea where. No idea is it bright or dim, is it I'm gonna earn big bucks or still living under the care of my parents' wings or become some worthless shit in the world, wasting all the resources. I know, it's all depend on me but fuck life, I've no idea about it, YET. Seeing people down, emotional, made me feel so bad 'cos I couldn't help much. Everyone around you is feeling down but you could only look at them, showing them some basic form of encouragement VERBALLY which doesn't help much I suppose and deep down inside you, you also feel rather down but well, you wouldn't wanna put much burden on those people anymore so you would end up, holding all these shit weighs on your broad shoulders and think it through yourself. This shit sucks but at least, it only sucks for you and no one else. You won't have to worry, being a burden to the rest, I guess.. Oh, I think I had a nightmare last night too. It's still somehow haunting me back now, like WTF. It didn't feel so real until I woke up. Nope, don't worry, it's not about you but some other people. My nightmare was a mixture of everything, everyone in my current life. I dreamt of Arvin kayaking with me in OCEAN with all the waves, probably because I kayaked with him during NIKE. Hmm.. I couldn't recall the whole dream but screw it anyway. I'm turning 1 year older in 9 days time. Any excitement? Nope. Any plan? Nope. What do I wanna do? No idea. What do I want? No idea. 18th birthday celebration was the most stuck up one and I can't be bothered much about my 19th birthday. When you pin high hopes, you fall badly. When you don't pin any hopes, you won't fall. Yes, I know. You guys gonna tell me, I must at least have some hope, must dare to take the fall so I will grow but freak you. HA-HA. It's only a birthday, it doesn't gonna make any real impact on my life. Unless, during that faithful day, someone does something that would make a change in my life then this is exceptional. That's tough, in terms of throwing a party for me, all the presents you guys are gonna buy.. I appreciate those stuffs and the thoughts but then, it's not something that could make one life changed. Get what I mean? I don't know if you guys get what I mean but this is something, a message.. I wanna divert out to people who read this post. Woah, freaaaak this, all these I've typed is not even 0.5 of what I actually wanna say. I don't know how to get it started, I feel so lost, suddenly. The usual me would definitely be straightforward in whatever I wanna say or do 'cos I don't wanna regret but right now, there's something holding me back. I'm afraid, if I were to say, everything will be ruined. "Nan Jun became a fan of I'm done trying. If you want me in your life, let me know. Bye." "Nan Jun became a fan of Whatever Happens in the past.. Stays in the past. Please dont bring it up." "Nan Jun became a fan of Don't get my hopes up, if you know you're just going to let me down." These are the recent pages I joined in Facebook, sounded true to me. HAHAHA. I meant, I bet.. All these 3, I had said to people before. HAHA. That's how straightforward I am, to protect myself from getting hurt. I mean, it hurts to be hurt, right.. So why not, make it clear so you won't get hurt but well, the other party gotta ensure you with that too. It takes 2 hands to clap clap, yo. Actually, er... Haiya, I like to have assurance and feel a sense of security, I hate to have doubts 'cos it's never been cleared. That sucks even more. Sorry, I've learnt my lesson and I needed to be true to myself. I need to have a clear distinction of some stuffs, some stuffs when people ask, I could proudly give them an answer. I don't like living in fears and uncertainties, who likes it? Well, NOT MANY but there's still this minority. Hmm.. Screw it, live life to the fullest!

BYEBYE.

Who works until so late in the night, conducting a survey?
Who works until so late in the night, chatting with the boss online?

Haha! ;)

Paperwork!
I officially woke up at 3pm plus and started typing for SPA related paperwork like the minutes of meeting, settling CCA showcase stuffs - whatever documents to be sent are all sent to the respective coordinator and sorting out each and every of the stuffs.

Dinner at rather late time!
Supposedly, I should be Cineleisure having my pasta dinner with Shini but then, due to time constraint, we had pasta at CWP instead and she made me knocked onto some fitness workout station but well, she treated me drinks and also, bought me Kinder Surprise when I asked her to pay for me first in a sad voice. She said it was a sad voice from me but which I do not think so. HAHA. She ended up saying, she will buy for me so.. WOOHOO!

Strolling back home..
With a pocketful of stars in the sky! Shini made me did lame workout with nice outfit and made me look like an idiot. HAHA. I'm kidding, I did the workout myself 'cos I was amazed by it but she was the one insisting to take me there for a look at what she did in her so-called gym!

Side note:
I gotta head to IKEA someday..

Hi there!

No picture, I'm as tired as those who worked for IT fair.
Not enough sleep, brain cells killed while helping out for a few stuffs when I got back home. Well, it feels good when you know you can help people in certain areas!

Anyway, it beats me, I've no idea why actually I have been thinking and even nothing is done at the moment, I am afraid that the fact of good thing is gonna come will be gone again. Sometimes, some things are just too attractive and I feel inferior. I could say, that is still this special compartment being filled and if I don't care, I wouldn't have been thinking and trying to figure out that few pieces of stuffs that came by.

In short,
I do care but I hope, you could trust me in this and this is amazingly magical 'cos I have no idea why, but the feeling (should be a good one) is flowing back.

MC Meeting minutes to be done tomorrow.
Dead, tired.

That's one of my aim; kayaking at a cold water and cold weather.


Off to school for last paper! Best of luck for me! Can't wait for it to end and off to kayak after that! ;)

Here’s the difference, to me, between boys and girls: Boys fuck things up; Girls are fucked up. That’s the difference. Boys just do damage to your house that you can measure in dollars, like a hurricane. Girls, like, leave scars in your psyche that you find later, like a genocide or an atrocity. That’s the difference between boys and girls. And it becomes the difference between men and women, really. A man will, like, steal your car or burn your house down or beat the shit out of you, but a woman will ruin your fuckin’ life. Do you see the difference? Like, a man will cut your arm off and throw it in a river, but he’ll leave you as a human being intact. He won’t fuck with who you are. Women are nonviolent, but they will shit inside of your heart.

Louis C.K

It's not about love, stop jumping into conclusions.


I could fully understand how you felt.

No further comments is needed.
No use turning the table around.

No doubts,
I felt unfairness but oh well, it's not in our hand, what can we do?

Adventure has no boundaries,
there are many others out there, for us to explore - as an individual.

Goodnight.