Actually, I don't know if I made a right choice but I am gonna heck care about it cos who cares when everything is settled (happily) for me.

Look at the time now, I just can't fall asleep after sleeping at 4am plus and woke up an hour later and being awake until now. -.-

Well, in fact..

I am the one who is so uncertain about your thinking. Actually, I have no idea what's wrong with you but can you at least tell me what are you thinking?

There must be a reason behind everything and when someone doesn't release out their emotions/thinking, you will never understand them.

Never mind, I really hope Jiayao would bring us some good news and then.. I will be booked for new year's eve already! Woohoo!

Back from the northern island kayaking expedition and I had fun with the alumni. Lol.

Obviously, it wasn't much as I expected cos obviously, I didn't really communicate with certain people but well, other than that, the expedition was superb. Great job to everyone and really rest well. I could now see my flesh on my fingers. All the blisters and rope burns are really too kinda, a little serious but it will definitely recover soon. :)

I left my bottle in the outdoor classroom at PM just when kun han saw us at clementi kfc and told us about his bottle and mine was at the same place with his bottle too. Anyway, I hope the countdown trip via powerboat is still going on. I wouldn't mind going havoc havoc with the alumnus. Haha. :)

Time to sleep. I am really tired and maybe, you would end up with the past than present..

Okie, gonna take ppcdl licence soon so I can officially drive a boat. ;)

It's here!

Merry Christmas to all lovelies! Hope it's a blessed one for you and me and.. Time to head back for camp........! Haha!

<3

Haha. I'm at City Hall starbucks now with 2 good friends for chilling session and counting down for christmas but later, we gotta go back to our campsite and do night sentry for the boats at the shore and I pray for a good weather tomorrow! I am sunburnt today though. Haha. Hope this Christmas would bring me some luck! <3

Morning, my parents fetched me to custom and on the way, they were talking about sone stuffs. Dad said girls should study as much as possible so next time we won't then lose out to boys and mom was saying for this modern era, male and female are in the same weightage so, when we work, we also are able to earn as much.

Next, dad doesn't recommend for other races son-in-law. Haha. Well, if have to choose one that is not a Chinese, he would prefer a caucasian but I guess, is all up to us to choose and my dad now is complaining about how Malaysia is so screwed up.

Oh, my dad said he hopes I could get into local U because, if he had to send me to Australia, he said I'd be going out everytime to play. (?!!??!?!?!!!?) I can't blame them, cos I didn't come back hometown for 2 months already and yes, past few days, I headed back to Malaysia but I didn't really tell anyone.

I am typing this on my iPod touch while on they way for breakfast - kwai chap. I would probably be late for the meeting time at clementi mrt station but i've already told the in-charge so.. It wouldn't be so bad though I heard 1 min late = 10 push up. No welfare for committee at all. Tsk. Haha. Kidding. Hopefully I can make it in time and time for breakfast!

I love all of you and what a wet Christmas!

TO ALL READERS:

I DIDN'T KNOW SO MANY OF YOU ALL ACTUALLY READ MY BLOG BUT ANYWAY, I LOVE YOU GUYS. HAHAHAHA.

MERRY ADVANCED CHRISTMAS 'COS I WILL BE IN SEA KAYAKING AND NOT BEING ABLE TO REPLY. THOSE WHO READ THIS, PLEASE TAG AT MY TAGBOARD. SO I CAN KNOW WHO YOU ARE. LOL. DON'T ACT ONE MYSTERIOUS. HAHAHAHA.

BYE.

I have to wake up at 6am plus in the morning, if not.. I wouldn't be able to make it to PM by 10am. Great, have to check boats and everything before shifting..

Okie, I don't fucking care.
Still got 3 months before it comes.

Hahaha. Okie, I guessed correctly and I think I am god. LOL. I could understand you but well, not inside out though. Lol. It's okie, I got it right anyway.

I'm dying of a horrible death. How? Omg. I think it's all started from me. Omg. Omg. Omg.

I think, but it's all the wrong stuffs.

Blueblack on legs.
Rope burn on fingers.

Infected by mosquito bites.
Failed in everything.
Hopeless, effortless.

Brings me nowhere, everything sucks.
I am continue to think, just think.

Thinking may cause harm mentally but at least,
not physically although I am physically bruised.

Enough, goodnight.

Yes, I am a bloody thinker who just can't bloody stop thinking. Life's "great"! Damn it.

Hope zhuxin enjoyed her day with us though. :)

I can't do much to help which I feel sad about it.
There's nothing wrong here but I hope you are feeling fine.

There's always me around here.
Drop a text and I will go over and give you the warmest hug I've ever had.

The only thing I could do is to stand by you and hold you tight.
Maybe, hugging you till you suffocate. Yes, this is too exaggerated.

All the best to you and text me whenever you want. :)

Xoxo.

Spamming posts like nobody's business.

Should I be relieved, sad, happy or what?
Practically, I have no idea what's going on and really don't know what is gonna be my next step. I think my life is so ruined. Alright, I am so dead and yes, you (all of you in general) can ask me not to think so much but whatever that is happening, is the factor why I have been thinking.

I think because I care about it.
I think because it matters to me.
I think because I've to clear my mind.

Whatever I think, I have yet to come to any conclusion. Therefore, it defeats the purpose for me to think so much but I can't help it. What's more can I do other than having myself to think and think and still thinking.

Yes, I hate holidays to the damn bloody max.
What's more for Christmas? It means totally nothing.
Although 2010 may be a good year, but who knows?

If I happen to die later on or any moment, I will fucking regret.
Hell yes, everything sucks for now.

Looking tough on the outside but it definitely opposes my inner-self. Whatever I can achieve, I will try my best but there is always flaw in whatever you do. No one is perfect, this jolly well speaks the fact that I do need help in any of my aspects.

I feel so hopeless, I can do nothing else and watch the days to pass by. Sorry if anyone who is seeing me with such a screwed up mood and face. When I don't feel good, I won't talk much and therefore, I would not entertain you as much as I could. I will be god damned-quiet and stop asking me what happened unless I am telling you on my own accord.

No one understands me like how I don't understand you. Again, it's you in general and not just one particular "you". We all live in our own world and I have no rights in your life neither you have yours in my life. You could lend me your helping hand but it's all give and take. If I do not take it then I am sorry about it.

It is way off different from love. You give and you give your best but do not expect anything in return. If you are ever expecting something in return, you love with demands not that's not true love.

was a bad bad day.

I went natural wall climbing, conquered the wall twice which was different from the first time I went there. Doubtlessly, it was scary for me to climb the first time. I was afraid that I would fall and hit myself against the rocks and wall but 2nd time was much more easier since I know I had climbed up before already.

I am invaded by a lot of mosquitoes bites and the itchiness is killing me. Anyway, bad Tuesday was practically because of, I didn’t do anything fulfilling at all and didn’t feel good about some other things else.

Today, I woke up officially at 10am which was the time for RIKE meeting and this jolly well means that, I didn’t go for the meeting and slacked at home instead. Great, I have no idea what’s next, for the expedition, my future, tomorrow and later on.

HI ZHUXIN,

THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO YOU.
IT'S YOUR BIG BIG DAY AND..

HAPPY SWEET 18TH TO YOU!
ALL THE BEST IN YOUR ENDEAVOUS!

REMEMBER, THERE ARE ALWAYS FRIENDS AROUND FOR YOU!
STAY HAPPY AND CHEERFUL AND WHATEVER.. LOL.

ENJOY YOUR 2 DAYS TRIP TO THE ZOO! HAHAHAHA.
YOU COULD NAME ME ALL THE ANIMALS IN THERE BY THEN. :D

LOVE ME,
ANNJAY!

For this holidays, I have no plans at all.
I am waiting for people asking me out for like some activities?

If not, I would be heading down to PM for kayaking.
I feel so dead and look so restless..

I am afraid of everything right now.
My mind isn't working right, I don't know what's gonna happen to my holidays.

Hi there, it's Monday today and holidays are still a long way to go..

I really have no idea how am I going to spend this holidays and I am pretty much afraid the gaps we would build. I hope everything goes fine and nothing's there for me to even worry about. :)

Alright, I am heading off to school for rock climbing..
I hope, I would not get stunned when I am there. :S

I am more tired than last night and I don't know why.

Kayaking today was rather fun, the expedition and photographs.
The Frisbee they were playing was like a sports channel, the bystanders were watching and laughing like mad. Haha. Some people getting cuts here and there but well, do take care. :)

Last of all,
Thanks for taking the initiative to break the ice, though I thought I wouldn't be talking so much due to the embarrassment last night. Lol.

I am going to sleep, real soon and how am I supposed to spend my holidays?
Sigh.

Alright, I am really very worn out, practically because of the deprived of sleep.

I woke up at 7am yesterday for my last paper and headed back home before I went out for some peeps gathering at around 2.30pm and met up with the L4D 2 survivors & zombies at around 10.15pm.

Chong Pang, the LAN shop beside the Nasi Lemak shop is such a hot spot, it was full house and they had their tau huay instead before heading to 883 to another LAN shop for L4D 2. Yup, they managed to find 8 people for the game and we played Versus and I shouted like mad. >:)

Spitter was fun to be, spitting acid around and make them fall. Evil but I like. Anyway, we played for almost 2hours or more then everyone was being sent home safely but the few of us went to Sembawang for supper though and it was already 3am by the time we or rather they, finished eating and I brought 1 can of green tea home. (???)

By the time I got back home, it was already 3.30am. I went to bathe and before my hair could even get dry, I just slept on my bed. If I am having any headaches, this should be the reason why but I was dead tired anyway..

Alright, I woke up late this morning at around 9am and prepared my stuffs for the kayaking. Thanks to Yutai, we got a free ride from his dad to Sembawang Water Venture and we were on time but instructor was late! Theory was the first lesson today and they said I looked very tired and shagged, totally wasn't having my mind with me at all.

It was worst when I had to kayak in the choppy sea today and, I was quite frustrated and disappointed in myself 'cos I lost the freaking momentum for Eskimo Roll. I only succeeded thrice or so and the rest, I used Pawlanta Roll instead when I failed my attempt for Eskimo Roll. Just 1 week without kayaking ('cos of Standard Chartered Marathon and MST), I totally lost everything regarding it. :(

Doubtless, I am having a really very heavy eyelids now. My eyes are gonna close any moment and my middle toe hurts like shit after the full-marathon. The nail is like going to cannot make it soon, wearing booties made it hurts even more just now and when I was carrying my kayak, I felt like I was going to be blown away by the wind. Strength = 0 and I didn't even empty my kayak myself today after the course but thanks to handsome for helping.

Tomorrow there's a 10km kayaking expedition and I hope everyone gets enough sleep for it, as well as well-equipped. I am having a headache soon, my head feels heavy. Okie, that's all for the updates and playing L4D 2 alone is really not as exciting. It sucks pretty much as compared playing with the usual peeps. :)

OKIE, I DONT WANNA STAY AT HOME PLEASE.

YEAH YEAH, GOOD NIGHT.

Now, I will make you appear in the answer booklet MYSELF.

It's not as tough as I thought. I'm happy I am able to understand and do the question. It's just minus and plus and minus and plus. When going forward, I should take the largest number. If going backwards, I should take the smallest number. If it's FF, I should take the finishing number and put it at the last box. If it's SS, I should take the starting number and put it in the first box; be it forward pass or backward pass. If there's a lag, I have to add in the number of days lagged behind but when going backward, I have minus it instead.

Alright, I hope all these would not get mixed up tomorrow when I see the question paper! Precedence diagram is already a worthy 40marks. There's 10marks on topic 6 theory and 50marks on other topics for 2 essay questions but now, I have no idea how to study for the 2 essay questions.

I woke up from a nightmare while having a nap just now. I slept even without the fan on and wake up a couple of times because of the bad dream. I slept back but I had the continuous bad dream again and finally, waking up with myself almost drenched in sweat.

Frantically, after that dumb nap.. I went on and started to revise on my precedence diagram 'cos I know I do not have enough time left. Oh well, I tried to walk as normal today but my legs ache damn badly still. If I walk properly, my calves are still pulling like some crazy shit and if I do not walk properly, my right foot is gonna hurt. IN any other case, either way I choose, my legs are definitely aching.

Back to notes!

I've exactly screwed up whole of construction paper. What's over is over, what's done cannot be undone. That's just a piece of shit. I'm glad it's over but hopefully.. I am able to have a border line passing grade. I don't give a damn of getting A/B grade for such redundant module.

2 papers down, 3 more to go.

I am so mentally drained. My routine is almost the same for everyday this week. I gotta revise 4 - 5 topics in less than 24 hours to tackle for the paper on the following day. I wake up, bathe, head to school for battle, back home, lunch, net-surfing, study, bathe, study, sleep. This is my daily routine and it has to last until Thursday.

All of my modules just simply suck except for Law 2 but again, it's easier to understand yet so many things to memorize. Life's always a bitch WHEN being as a student DURING tests/exams period.

I feel so much sleepy right now, how am I supposed to revise for Project Management 2 later on? Precedence Diagram, tomorrow please appear yourself in the answer booklet. Thank you very much.

Godly weapon for tomorrow's test is just a fully-jotted down in 3 pieces paper worth of notes. I reduced it from 3 topics to 3 pieces of paper.

I'm leaving the calculations out, probably.. I am going to scribble any figure tomorrow for the calculation questions. It's just too much to memorize and right now, I have only gotten few points right into my head.

Well, tomorrow is a 2 hours of hell and the following day, will be hell again until Friday, which spells F-R-E-E-D-O-M.

L4D 2 wait for me, construction please get the hell out of my life for 3 weeks after tomorrow. Thank you very much.

After a nap, I woke up with even more painful legs.
Walking around is a daunting task for me and I guess, I am dead by tomorrow.

Great, I completed my ever first marathon today and I can't even walk properly now. My right leg is really painful, any wrong position, my leg would cramp.

I've not finish revising my test for tomorrow yet.
Let's see what can I do and I am awake for 14hours now.

How many hours left for revision before my test on 9am tomorrow?
How am I suppose to walk from Dover MRT station to T3 tomorrow?

Everyone is almost limping each time when we walk.
So take care and rest more, MST is just a day away for me, and few days away for you.

Okie, time to hit the sack for tomorrow's marathon.
All the best to me, you and everyone.

42.195km, JUST RUN ONLY.
CANNOT RUN then JUST JOG ONLY.
CANNOT JOG then JUST WALK ONLY.

I sure will complete the race but all the best to me.

TELL ME, I AM NOT AN ANNOYANCE.

I wonder if people still read my mundane blog but anyway,
are you studying right now?

Aye, I only finished 2 chapters and my legs hurt damn badly around 6am. I doubt I sleep throughout the night without tossing and turning in bed, hitting on my legs and adjusting each and every sleeping positions I had.

In the end, I gave up and I sat with legs crossed on my bed. I bend down and try to ignore the pain but it was just too freaking pain and I resigned to it, lying back to my sleeping position; turn and toss again until I fell a sleep eventually.

I woke up at 9.15am and headed out to usual kayaking place. I didn't kayak 'cos it was drizzling and I was too afraid that the rain would get heavier and I have to get stuck in PM. Headed off after that and had lunch before going back home.

Tomorrow's gonna be my first ever full-marathon race, with my legs condition like that, I think I probably will drop dead while running. Touch wood but it still hurts now. It hurts internally, like some shit is attacking on my bone, at the shin.

I should get back for revision and sleep at 7pm tonight.

I loitered around the school just to get all the bloody tutorials much longer than I seated down in class. Great, I was too frustrated for anything and I told some of my classmates I was gonna go home first.

Yes, I wondered.. If I’ve collected any attendance for myself today.

Everyone has an eye candy, why should I even brood over it when I have got my eye candy too? Be fair and everyone has their own opinions, I am just too obsessed and over-tensed up. I am crazy but well, I am not gonna let this to affect me. It's just a small peanut. Look far and not staying stagnant here.

Great, 5 tests are coming up, I have yet to finish one topic for all modules AT ALL. I am going to school next week and spam whatever nonsense that is gonna pop out in my brain. I have no motivation at all, MST seems nothing to me. I couldn’t care less now ‘cos all I care is ___. I know, I shouldn’t do that but who will go against their heart, you tell me.

Now, I am still fuming mad. Please don’t disturb me unnecessarily as I will give you unwanted replies. I mean it, you could ask Shini what I replied her when someone else used her phone to reply my SMS.

Currently, I should set apart my fuming emotion and get started on with my revision. Time’s running out and I am having my ever first marathon this coming Sunday. I am not prepared for it and test that is on coming Monday is in the morning. Holy Crap.

(This is not the full version, find me if you can.)

I always have blocked nose, especially the right one when night falls. I have difficulty in breathing now, I have to use my mouth to breathe instead of my nose. I am losing track of almost everything. I am gonna flunk my MST, believe it or not. I am just not the cut out for studies. I personally think that, Event Facilities Construction (EFC) is a dumb module, I repeat, we are not studying to be a bloody construction worker and stop asking us to draw those bloody drain, concrete, hoarding, scaffolding, etc.. I am pursuing Diploma in Integrated Events & Project Management and I see no use in learning EFC. Now, there is a mosquito bite behind ear and it itches like some crap. There is a high possibility that I might not go school tomorrow and it sucks when...................................... Alright, I'm not writing it here but,

Damn, I wanna tell you, I less than 3 you.
Decode it.

I had fun texting with you.
I am fascinated and amazed by you.

Wow, you are all kinds of AWESOME! <3