Why lead a stressful life, when you can enjoy it?

True enough, actions speak louder than words and it's difficult to imply the actions in reality. That's how I felt. This would be some serious thoughts thrashing post. I might not be posting properly since I think.. My thoughts would jump here and there. Try to be with me, eh? :)

I felt that I am giving redundant stress to myself.
Even in this holidays, I can feel the stress in me which I've no idea why. Although I may not seem to be working, but I feel that I am working though. Contradicting enough. I am trying to delay everything so I could breathe and forget the stress. In fact, I would say it's escaping. I tried not to care but stress hits me whenever I am bathing. Why? When you are having your shower, you would be alone. True? Then, I would have thoughts running through my mind and I would start thinking that whatever I've done was all in a wrong decision. This beats me, I have no idea why. From the start of everything, I don't think I make any right choices. Nothing brings me forward. Agree?

I felt that I am heading to nowhere. (As mentioned above)
I have got no plans for my future. The only thing I can think of would be hoping to get into any local university. Other than that, I have no idea where my life is heading. I am practically just wasting my life away. No aims, no plan. Time to really wake up and start thinking, nj.

I felt that I am neglecting my family in Malaysia.
Well, I've planned to head back on the last week of my holidays but it still pretty far away. Next Sunday, I would be heading off to Stong for 4D3N and then, follow up by Datuk on the 9th - 11th October. Some serious time planning need to be done, nj.

I felt that I am spending money like running tap water.
Camps, trips, courses are all money sucker. Tomorrow there would be a 2 stars kayaking course registration and I am still hesitating if I should register as well. Why? It's an opportunity, why let it go? Next, it equips me with more certs which may be able to be useful for my life in the future. Lastly, it needs money. MONEY. Time to lie low and stop so many activities, nj.

I felt that I am having a hard time this year.
Schedule for this year is pretty tight. Every little things, regardless in SPA or in my life, it seems like all are being lined up events by events. You guys take a step back and see, how SPA conducted training last year and this year. We were given more time allowance last year as compared to this year when everything clashes with us. Limited workforce, overflowing of events/trainings. There's a need for a proper training schedules with available workforce. Otherwise, committees' holidays would definitely be burnt and it is going to be 2 months, w/o an outing for the committees. Did you guys realise about it?

Alright, I guess all the problems lie in me.
If I manage my time well, redundant stress would not arise in me, agree?
If I manage my time well, I wouldn't be thrashing all these thoughts here, agree?
If I manage my time well, I wouldn't neglect anyone in my life, agree?
If I know what is my aim, I would have made the correct choices in life, agree?

In short,
I need some serious reflection on myself.
I need to be more organized in terms of time planning.
I need to be more understanding in everyone around me.

Such a lengthy post, I guess I am done with my thoughts-thrashing.

Good night, lovelies.

Xoxo,
annjay.